It’s that time of year again!  No, not when the weather starts cooling down.  It’s still hot enough to go swimming every day.  No, I’m not talking about that damn pumpkin spice latte crap that nobody can seem to stop talking about.  We get it, you love pumpkin flavored crap from Starbucks.  (Also wake up and smell the rip off – Starbucks is ridiculously expensive, often way over-sugared, and way too bitter for my tastes.  Get a Keurig.  Save $$$.)
Nope, I’m talking about that glorious time of year when all your favorite network TV shows return and new ones begin!  It’s a fun time, but it can be difficult too.  How do you decide what to watch with so many shows on these days?  Personally, I just watch everything, but not everybody has the DVR power to record 7 shows at once (for some unfathomable reason).  So I’m going to tell you what I’m watching and why, and maybe that will help you out.  Or maybe it’s just an excuse for me to talk about TV.  Whatever.  Either way.  Win-Win.
A couple of new shows premiered and returned last week, but this week is REALLY jam packed, especially when you throw in the summer shows that are still winding down.  Here’s what my schedule looks like this week:

Sunday (Sept. 22)

Breaking Bad – 2nd to last episode ever!!  Make sure to have some Xanax handy, because this show is super intensely stressful and also amazing.
Dexter – also close to the end of the series, but no need for Xanax for this one.  Maybe some kind of upper to keep you awake.  I don’t know what that would be, my prescription drug knowledge isn’t very comprehensive.

Monday!

How I Met Your Mother – this show passed its prime long ago, but it’s sort of too late to quit.  I mean NOW WE KNOW WHAT THE MOTHER LOOKS LIKE.  I’m riveted.
2 Broke Girls – not great, but usually mildly funny.  I enjoy Kat Dennings and her constant sarcasm.  Can’t imagine why I identify with that.
Sleepy Hollow NEW – watched the pilot of this last week.  I can’t say I’m super impressed.  It’s a pretty ridiculous mashup of the headless horseman, Revolutionary War history, and the book of Revelations.  But if that sounds weirdly entertaining to you, by all means, check it out.  I’m going to give it a couple more episodes before I decide to delete it off the DVR or not.
Mom NEW – Stars Anna Faris.  I just really like her.  Could be funny, could be dumb, who knows
Castle – Nathan Fillion!  Murder mysteries!  Fun times

Tuesday

The Blacklist NEW – Looks kind of intriguing, stars James Spader – more thoughts on the pilot later
Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD NEW – JOSS WHEDON returns to TV!!!  AHHHHHH!!!!  Also AGENT COULSON LIVES!  I’ve been looking forward to this one more than all other new shows combined.  Cannot wait.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine NEW – Pretty funny pilot episode last week, stars Andy Samberg, created by the same guys who do Parks and Recreation – if you’re looking for a half hour comedy to add to your life, this is a good one to check out
New Girl – Returned last week.  This show makes me laugh.  Occasionally in the first season Zooey Deschanel’s character could get annoying, but the second season was super fantastic.  Hoping for more good things this season.
The Mindy Project – Also returned last week but I haven’t gotten around to watching the season 2 premiere ep yet.  I’m out of town.  That’s my excuse.  Mindy Kaling = funny.  Good show.
Sons of Anarchy – Returned a couple of weeks ago.  This show used to be one of my favorites (Charlie Hunnam is hottttttt) but now it’s kind of super depressing.  These people’s lives are dark and make me sad.
The Goldbergs NEW – don’t know much about this one yet except that it’s set in the 80’s and is about a family’s crazy antics.  More on this after I actually watch it.
Trophy Wife NEW – can’t remember why I decided to check this one out.  I think because it stars Malin Akerman and I think she’s pretty.

Wednesday

The Middle – funny old favorite
Back in the Game NEW – James Caan, Maggie Lawson – I like both of those actors, so I’m in for a few eps.
Modern Family – Most people love Modern Family.  Modern Family does not need me to talk it up.
Nashville – This is so soapy and awesome and I am super excited about its return!  Hayden Panetierre and Tami Taylor oops I mean Connie  Britton are both great.  Enjoy yourself some country music drama every week!
The Bridge – this is a new show on FX but it’s the 12th episode of the season – I imagine the season will be wrapping up soon.  I have to be honest, when this one first started I was really into it, but I haven’t seen the past 2 episodes.  I may have lost interest.
Key & Peele – funny comedy sketch show, reliable laughs every week
The League – now on FXX, a show about a group of (sometimes awful) people and their fantasy football league.  Super funny but also makes me cringe sometimes.

Thursday

Parks and Recreation! – This show is awesome.  Can’t wait to have Ron Swanson back on my TV.  I don’t know what else to add.
The Big Bang Theory – Also awesome.  Bazinga!
Grey’s Anatomy – WOW it’s the 10th season of this show and I am still watching it.  Congratulations, Shonda Rhimes.
Project Runway – Episode 11 of this season.  I have recently become obsessed with Project Runway.  It’s one of the few reality shows I watch.  Probably should have mentioned that at the top – if you really love reality shows, I’m not the person to talk to.  OH well, now you know!  And if you’ve read this far, good for you!  You clearly are after my own heart with your love of scripted television.
The Crazy Ones NEW – Robin Williams and Sarah Michelle Gellar.  The clips I’ve seen from the pilot are HILARIOUS.  I
love Robin Williams.  Really hope this one is good!

Friday

Shark Tank – think it returned on Sept. 20th, but again, I’m out of town.  Love this show and seeing the sometimes crazy, sometimes awesome ideas people have.

Saturday

SNL – returns with Tina Fey as the host!  Definitely a must-see.

Sunday, Sept. 29th

Bob’s Burgers – fun half hour animated show (if Bob’s voice sounds familiar, that’s because he also voices Sterling Archer on Archer…another fantastic half hour animated show on FX)
Homeland – I have no idea what to expect from Season 3 of this show, and I love it.
Revenge – Can’t wait to see what they do with Season 3 of this one, after getting rid of all the overly complicated plot lines of last year.  Back to some good old-fashioned, you-ruined-my-life-now-it’s-your-turn REVENGE!
Masters of Sex NEW – This is a new show on Showtime (sorry if you don’t get Showtime, you’re really missing out) and it looks awesome!  Stars Lizzy Caplan, who I enjoy in everything she’s in.  Excited to check this one out.
Also that Sunday – BREAKING BAD FINAL EPISODE!   And possibly Dexter.  Clearly I’m not all that into Dexter anymore.  Some final seasons are more must-watch than others!
*WHEW* that’s it for this week!  Next week there will be more new shows premiering and hopefully I’ll have the discipline to give you my thoughts on this week’s new shows.  Maybe.  No promises.
Is there something you watch that you think I’m TOTALLY missing out on by not watching that is on this week?  Tell me in the comments!