I am terribly late with this recap, but I have such a good excuse.  This week is Collection Week for Operation Christmas Child so last weekend I was busy getting my shoeboxes put together and all this week I’ve been volunteering at the Relay Center (where people in the community and other churches bring their shoeboxes to be packaged up in shipping cartons for the next step in their journey) so I have been super tired and too busy to write this recap.  Today, however, was a light day so I’m trying to be good and get my recap done.  And maybe I’ll be super productive and recap tonight’s new episode as well!  We shall see…

Silas is sitting at a bus stop with a couple, rambling about his life story.  This goes over about as well as you would expect – they have the same reaction that any modern day not-from-Mystic-Falls couple would have about a guy claiming to be 2000 years old and having his spurned ex turn his lover into stone.  They just think he’s crazy and edge away.  Of course since he’s still a witch and he’s angry at the world, he liquifies the guy’s insides and the girl takes off running so as not to become the next victim.  I have to agree with Silas’s accusation of her being fickle.  You don’t just leave your love at a bus stop coughing up blood next to a crazy person.  It’s rude.  SO not true love.

We cut to Stefan who’s having nightmares about his time drowning in a safe over and over, but is woken up from that hell by Elena.  She’s trying to do that thing where they start fresh because she misses him, which is sort of inappropriate since she’s dating his brother.  Even if he doesn’t remember how you broke his heart, YOU DO, so suck it up and keep your distance, you selfish girl.  Oh and of course he DOES in fact remember, as he reveals to Elena that Tessa gave him his memories back.

After a fun little game of “Trivial Pursuit: Stefan’s Life” with Damon to establish that he does in fact remember everything, he gets filled in on the whole “doppelganger in the dungeon” situation.  When Stefan asks what’s wrong with Imara, (I believe I spelled it all wrong last recap, and no, I don’t care enough to go back and correct myself) Damon hilariously replies that being turned to stone and put in a box for 2000 years made her a little stir-crazy.  Kind of like those deserted island guys that talk to volleyballs.  Ah the best part of Cast Away.  I do so love Damon’s witty references.  It’s also extra funny since he also played a guy on a deserted island on Lost, but of course he never talked to volleyballs.  Imara really wants to die, so much so that she bites into her own wrists in order to bleed out.  Since she’s the only thing keeping the other side from being destroyed, it would kind of suck if she succeeded in offing herself.

Cut to Bonnie and Jeremy discussing the same subject and putting me to sleep.  I just am not interested in either one of them right now.  They are the current winners of least interesting people on the show.  Mostly because they talk about the same thing over and over and over.

bonnie and jeremy touching issues vampire diaries

If only you were alive so our hands could touch! Barf. Also they’ve done this in literally every episode this season.

Katherine is with Professor Shadypants at the college where he observes that the patient is “irritable” and doesn’t know whether to call it a symptom or just her personality.  Katherine, in her usual charming way, clears that quandary up for him real quick.  He then informs her that she’s fine, she’s just aging really quickly now that she’s human.  She has, after all, been alive for 500 years.  He gives her a few months to live.  I wonder if that means that Silas and Imara have even less time since they are 4 times as old.  I hope so.  It’s called consistency, VD writers!

katherine pierce vampire diaries

I’m a delight. Really. People love my charming disposition.

Damon calls up Silas to find out what’s taking him so long and Silas informs him that he won’t be helping to bring Bonnie back from the other side.  He finds the thought of jeopardizing Damon’s relationship with Elena perversely delightful in that it could drive her right back to Stefan.  Oh and he’s ready to end it all and go off to the afterlife with Imara.

Caroline calls Jesse because he missed their study session, and I don’t care, but maybe you do.  Then she runs into Katherine’s daughter but she doesn’t know that’s who she is and Katherine walks up just in time to lie to Caroline and claim that she’s her stylist.  Katherine’s daughter really wants to talk and isn’t going to let Katherine go until they do.  (Is it obvious yet that I’ve forgotten Katherine’s daughter’s name?  If not, it will be later.)

Fast forwarding through the next chain of events:

Stefan calls Elena out on her shit when she refuses to give up the idea of Silas bringing Bonnie back: “I do know you.  You put your hope in all of the wrong places and sometimes in the wrong people.  As someone who just spent months on the bottom of a quarry because of the guy I wouldn’t hold your breath.  Pun intended.”  Love it!

Turns out Imara exists on both sides at once.  She can see Bonnie (and other dead supernatural beings) and can touch her.  Bonnie has the bright idea to make herself the anchor instead of Imara.  Then SHE could be in both places at once and be effectively alive.  Of course they need someone to do the spell since Silas won’t, so that leads them to…

Tessa.  She seems willing enough to make the anchor switch but needs something powerful to draw on.  She can use doppelgangers to do the spell, which is great since Damon has doppelgangers coming out of his ears.  So true.  He is surrounded.

Katherine’s daughter accuses Katherine of abandoning her all over again after they “had a moment”.  Katherine tells her that estrangement is so much easier, probably because she doesn’t want to get all attached just to die, but her daughter doesn’t know that, so it’s just upsetting to her.  Caroline whisks Katherine away to do her doppelganger duties before the convo can go any further.

Tessa gets taken to where they’re holding Imara and wants to be alone with her.  She gets an apology from her and then basically fills her in on the same plan we know she’s had all along – for Silas and Imara to be apart for all eternity.  Blah blah blah, we’ve heard it all before.  I was really hoping this face to face would be more dramatic.

Katherine arrives and makes a deal with Tessa to stop her aging problem after they do this spell.  Tessa agrees, then refers to the other two that share her face as “Tweedledee and Tweedledumb”.  I wonder which one is Dee and which one is Dumb?

Now we get to see the super fun sight of all 3 of them side by side.  I’ve gotta say, seeing them like this really makes me want to congratulate Nina Dobrev.  She’s done a great job of playing 3 very different characters.  She’s no Tatiana Maslany, but she’s better than Eliza Dushku was in Dollhouse.

Spell time!  Ew, she’s using the same knife for all 3 of them.  Katherine better hope that Imara doesn’t have some 2000 year old disease that could complicate her human life even further.  Silas shows up and complicates everything by turning out the lights and causing a breeze…?  Then he puts a fire poker through Tessa and asks her why she can’t just let it go after watching him and Imara suffer for 2000 years.  I’ve gotta agree with Silas on this one – on the one hand, I admire her ability to hold a grudge.  On the other, it’s like GET OVER IT.

In the chaos of the lights going out due to Silas’s interference, Stefan took Imara out to the woods and tells Silas to get his ass out there or he’ll keep her alive.  Silas goes and he tries to kill Imara and put her out of her misery but clearly it is hard due to their big love.  Then Stefan is like DO YOU REMEMBER ME?  I REMEMBER YOU and clearly wants to kill him.

silas dead vampire diaries death and the maiden

Spoiler alert: He succeeds! It’s okay, I tell you really soon here anyway.

Elena finds Tessa with the fire poker in her, calls it a flesh wound, and informs her that she’s not done.

Stefan and Silas scuffle around in the woods, but ultimately Stefan throws a knife into Silas’s chest and he dies (See, 2 sentences later).  Imara looks all sad and gets ready to Romeo/Juliet herself.  Damon comes up just as soon as she stabs the knife inside her.  He desperately tries to keep her alive long enough for the spell to be done, and guess what, it works.  Jeremy and Bonnie are having a super sappy goodbye where he tells her he loves her, but then he touches her face and he’s all I CAN FEEL YOU and then before they can make out Elena and Caroline come in and hug her.  I know they’re happy she’s back and all, but come on, give the couple at least one moment to kiss.  Cockblocks.

bonnie jeremy hand holding porn vampire diaries

At least they finally get to touch hands. They’ve been DYING to rub those palms together.

Okay apparently they have plenty of kissing time now.  Well good for them.  However, with all big spells, there is a price.  You just know there’s a price for Bonnie becoming the anchor.

Katherine finds Tessa and reminds her to fix her aging problem.  Tessa tells her to buy drug store cream.  Apparently now that Silas is on the other side “waiting for her” (Spoiler alert: he’s not waiting for you!  He hates you!) she thought it was a good time to slit her wrists and bleed out.  Katherine is upset at this turn of events to say the least.  Then Tessa appears next to Bonnie and informs her that since she’s the anchor now, she’ll feel every supernatural death as they pass through her.  And it’s going to hurt like a bitch.  See, consequences!  Bonnie does in fact appear to be in severe pain as Tessa crosses over to the other side through her.

The episode ends with Stefan telling Elena and Damon that he wishes they were the ones who had opened that safe and saved him. (Sad face!)  Katherine tells her daughter that there will be no bonding and she doesn’t want to go back to Prague with her.  Then Stefan is burying Silas’s body when he starts hyperventilating and says something along the lines of, “It was supposed to be over,” so who knows what that means.

Hopefully this episode means that we are officially done with Silas and Imara.  I’m fine with the ongoing issue of Bonnie being the anchor as long as we don’t have to deal with any of this 2000 year old crap anymore.  I have no idea what’s wrong with Stefan so I guess we’ll have to find out in the next episode!